We're Off To See The Wizard
by KissBreathTurpentine
Summary: It had to happen sometime-A Foster'sWizard of Oz crossover. Mac is Dorothy, Bloo is the Scarecrow, Wilt is the Tinman, and Ed is the Lion.


BOOM.

An explosion shook the forest. The small dinosaur wavered in his footsteps.

"Come _on_, Littlefoot!" screamed Sarah. "Move your goddamn ass RIGHT NOW!"

"Sarah, LOOK OUT-OH, _SHIT!"_

It was too late. The bomb, cast casually under Sarah's body, blew her two front legs.

"OH, _GOD!"_

Sarah, bloody stumps waving, turned around to give the bitch who threw that a XL can of Whup-Ass. However, her enemy beat her to it, bitch-slapping her flat on her back. She stared through terrified, bloodied eyes at her opponent.

"Not…_Monkey-Man?"_

LAND BEFORE TIME MCXLIVVCIVM:

OPPOSABLE-THUMBED AND DANGEROUS

"Man, there is nothing on TV today!" whined Bloo, flipping through channels at 1/50s of a second. "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap…ooh, 'Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-Lot!"

"Hey, Wilt," said Bloo distractedly, intently watching Funshine Bear being handed the Royal Scepter of Joke-a-Lot, "Where's Mac?"

"Hmm," said Wilt, "I think I hear him spreading happiness up the walk right now."

Sure enough, you could clearly hear Mac singing "Tra-la-laaaaa!" while skipping gaily (emphasis on gai) up the walk. He burst into the room.

"Why, hello, Wilt! How are you doing? Have some flowers!" cried Mac, thrusting roses into Wilt's face. Unfortunately for Wilt, he was allergic to roses and collapsed on the ground.

"Oops," said Mac, gaily skipping over Wilt's body. "And how are you doing, Bloo?"

"SHUT UP! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THE EVIL RAT IS TRYING TO STEAL THE ROYAL JEWELS OF JOKE-A-LOT? I MEAN, CAN'T YOU BE QUIET FOR ONE FREAKING SECOND WHILE I WATCH MY-LOOK, YOU MADE ME MISS THE ENTIRE SCENE! HAPPY NOW?" Bloo sulked while jumping up and down on the couch.

On the TV, a whistle blew. "That's the rhyme chime," said Gig, a piglike character. "From now until it chimes, we have to rhyme."

"You mean we have to rhyme all the time?" asked Tenderheart Bear.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT IS SO HILARIOUS! HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH THAT STUFF? AHAHAHA!" screamed Bloo. "WAIT A MINUTE! I'VE GOT ONE!

YOU GUYS ARE SO RETARDED,

I JUST FARTED!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…" Bloo rolled around on the ground.

"Bloo, how much sugar have you _had _today?" asked Mac.

"Just a little…but it was special sugar," said Bloo, doing pull-ups on the doorframe.

"Special as in how?" said Mac warily.

"Well, it's a long story, so I'll tell it to you in flashback form…" the flashback ripples flowed across the screen…

_That Morning…_

"Uhhhgggg! I'm soooo thirsty!" panted Bloo. "I'm so thirsty, I'll ask the first shady trenchcoated man with a five-o-clock shadow for a drink! Ah, there's one right there!" He came over to the man.

"Do you have any coke?" asked Bloo.

"Yeah, I got some coke. But it's gonna cost ya," said the man.

"Okay…how much?"

"Two hundred."

"Two hundred what? Pennies?" asked Bloo, confused.

"Dollars, asshole."

"_$200!_ That's almost as much as a-"

"Child's movie ticket. Yeah, I know. I'm familiar with that joke."

"Okay, okay, fine. Excuse me while I go steal Frankie's purse." A few minutes later, he came back, flipping through the contents of Frankie's purse. "Hmmm…do you take credit cards?"

"Yeah, but I don't give them back."

"Whatever. Just gimme some coke."

"Here you go, my little friend." The man dropped a small bag full of white stuff into Bloo's hand. Bloo swallowed it whole, bag and all, before realizing that he had been tricked.

"Hey, this isn't coke, you…you rip-off artist!" yelled Bloo, kicking the man in the shin. The man reached into his trench coat and pulled out a fully loaded machine gun…

"And I forget the rest," said Bloo, while doing push-ups.

"_BLOO! DID YOU GIVE MY CREDIT CARD TO A DRUG DEALER AGAIN?"_

"That depends. Are you happy or mad about it?"

Frankie came in and punched Bloo in the face. "Oooh, Journey to Joke-a-Lot," she said, sitting down and watching the movie.

­­­

I couldn't resist. I watched 'Journey to Joke-a-Lot' last night, and it is impossible to not make fun of it. Anyway, I can already tell this is going to be a long one, since this chapter is three full pages and the plot hasn't even started to start yet. BTW, if cocaine doesn't make you hyper, don't blame me. All I know about the drug I learned in the 'Starsky and Hutch' movie.


End file.
